Peace in the Garden

Every year I have the opportunity to plant patio pots for a friend of mine. Truthfully it's a bit like landscaping in the Garden of Eden. It feels like Eden. With the patio surrounded by dwarf lilacs in bloom, it smelled like it. There is a water feature, so I worked to the sound of water trickling. I should almost pay her to let me do the work for her.

And, yes, there are dogs. It was a hard winter for them too, with the loss of their English Springer Spaniel. Planting was just not the same without Toby constantly dropping a tennis ball into the pot I am planting. I don't mind interruptions like that. We should all be open to playing at the drop of a hat (or ball) just that easily.

Thinking of her pots reminds me of Pete. I was finishing up that planting project several years ago when his new owners flew out to meet him. Some people measure time by years, I do by dogs.

One really can't ask for better working conditions. Flowers, dogs, quiet, the music of water falling, fragrance. Ah, the process of planting. All manner of growth can come from that. And it does......

Female Fosters, Undies and Life

Since Sophie is our first female foster it only stands to reason. So you, at this point are thinking, what stands to reason??? Well, the whole foster and lingerie situation. The male fosters had a thing for my undies, and Ms. Sophie seems to like those belonging to the Scary Man. Which is very ironic because she is afraid of the Scary Man. I can only pray acquainting herself with his socks and boxers will help her come to love him.

And may I just say, fosters are like children. No two are ever the same, even if you can prove they had the same parents! Each one challenges you to grow right along with them. To try new things, just when you thought you had all the smarts you needed from the previous experiences.

Life is like that too. Just when you think you have it figured out, you get an new challenge. This week I'm laughing at myself, I always swear I'll never have another puppy. Egad they are so much work. Well, Ms. Sophie is like a puppy these days. I've caught her on the coffee table, chewing on coasters and reconfiguring a remote control. Puppies, fosters, kids, jobs, relationships all require a certain diligence. Not to mention enormous amounts of flexibility.

Thanks to Sophie I'm way more diligent. Hopefully I'm smarter too, time will tell.

Middle Names

Everywhere I have worked, or volunteered, and in my family there have always been more than one Nancy. So I am quite used to being Nancy Jean, Nancy B, little Nancy, or big Nancy. That is so I'm not confused with Nancy Marie, Nancy M., old Nancy or young Nancy, my Nancy or your Nancy. If I were to hyphenate my name when I remarry I could be called Nancy B-S. I'm thinking I'll pass on this one. I've never been just Nancy - I always come with a qualifier.

Now, if Sophie had a middle name it would no doubt be "trouble". Lately whenever I call her name it's followed by Sophie "what are you up to now", or Sophie "leave it". I don't even have to know what she's doing, chances are it's a "leave it" situation. She is a mischievous little bugger of a girl. If she was a toddler, she would be one who doesn't hesitate to climb to the top of the refrigerator. Sophie's not shy about using furniture as a means to get to something.

I've begun to taking my laptop to where ever she is. If I'm in the office, that gives her a free pass to cruise things in the living room. Even if I'm in the kitchen she sometimes pushes the envelope. Getting lots of opportunities to correct behavior that's for certain. Of course, the flip side of this is that she has come so far!! I can't complain, really, well, maybe just a little.

She's gone from being afraid of everything, to testing everything. Amazing what 3+ months in foster care will do. Today, as she tried to rip the skirting from the bottom of the sofa (can you say bad girl Sophie!!) I took off my shoe and tossed it at her. No, I didn't throw to hurt, for the most part I can't even hit what I throw at. But I throw to interrupt the behavior by the surprise of it landing close by. Face it shoes raining from the sky are startling! So I got a good correction in!

So while I'm Nancy B. She's Sophie B. As in Sophie Behave. I'm Nancy Jean. She's Sophie Trouble. So "B" it. So Sophie, so much fun.

Momming

Mom, Mommy, Momma, dog Mom, Momism's, Mother (said in a teenager's voice smacked with attitude). Naturally today I'm pondering motherhood. If someone asked what it feels like to be a Mom, I'd have to say exhausting. Oh, wait, maybe I'm just exhausted and I'm transferring that feeling over to everything else.

These days I focus my "mothering" skills on the dogs. Although Reno would probably call them "s-mothering" skills and say I practice on him too. What can I say, once a Mother, always a Mother. He might also say my Mothering resembles nagging, and come to think of it my kids might agree.

When my kids were little I'd always call them (drag them) out to the garden to see my perennial hibiscus in bloom. The large saucer-like blossoms always fascinated me. Hence, it should fascinate them. It must have. It tickles me to know that each place they live they plant a hibiscus. Proof that the seeds we plant do take root.

Isn't that what we want as Mother's? To see those we love planted, grow and blossom. Whether they are two legged, or four legged, it matters not. And yes, that gift gives way more than one could ever dream of.

Time Flies

I'm certain I've written a blog with this same title before. No doubt I'll write one again. Basically, it's my blog and I can title them any way I want. The boss says it's okay - oh ya, I am the boss. Gosh, I love my boss!! Thanks Boss!

I've been mulling over how times flies. For example, Sophie joined our family the end of January. Doesn't January seem like a long time ago? For heaven's sakes it was months ago! Sometimes the days drag, but the time flies. And, here we are.

Sophie's still here, it's almost Mother's Day, I still feel like I'll never catch up. Yep, time flies. Hank going strong, my kids are healthy, Reno is wonderful. Yep, time flies.

I admit to being envious of people with new babies, and of people who's fosters get adopted. No, I don't want a new baby. Perhaps we just envy the excitement of what every one else has. Perhaps other peoples successes seem so much more evident than our own.

For month's now we've been working to empty my Mother's house, it's a slow process. This weekend we will succeed in having it almost completely empty. It's an empty feeling, not a feeling of satisfaction. It's one of those "won't it be great moments" that really doesn't feel all that great.

That's where I am. Loving my life. But also looking forward, looking back, looking at how time flies.

I'll Hold Your Pain

Mr. Mickey is my pet therapy dog. We try, every Tuesday, to visit patients doing rehab work at a local hospital. He is completely another dog up there than he is here at home. People don't believe what a dufus he is in "real" life. But they see what a trooper he is at the hospital.

We have seen a certain patient three weeks in a row now. She is recovering from surgery and is a complete dog lover. My kind of people. Each time we have seen her she has been reduced to tears. Not just misty eyed, like I get when watching a movie, but a bawling, sobbing sort of release. Face it, we need moments of release. Too often we don't allow ourselves that. So I admire her for her ability, and I am amazed at Mick's presence to her.

He was a sponge for her pain, a valve for her stress, a salve for her heart. Is that not the ultimate gift? Today he sat next to her. She put her arms around his neck and bawled on his shoulder. I cannot fathom the energy that passed between them. But I was awed by his ability to hold her pain and offer her comfort in return.

What he did was priceless. No amount of treats can repay his gift her. None is needed. The big guy upstairs is proud, of that I have no doubt.

Hogs

I forget sometimes that not all people share the sofa with dogs. So I'd like to make a blanket apology to past guests in our house, or any future guests who may visit and find themselves in contention for using space the dogs think is their own. A direct apology to Jo who experienced this last night. Some people have pillows to lean up against, we have Mr. Hanky.

In Hank's defense, he was on the sofa first, and Jo sat down in front of him so she could have a little meet and greet with Sophie. In Jo's defense, she had no idea what a sofa hog and attention ho Mr. Hanky can be. And in my defense? Wow, how rude of me to not make Hank move so my guest could be more comfortable. Boy howdy, I missed that one. I do apologize.

It got me thinking how we compensate for people and pets sometimes. I tolerate more of Hank's attention seeking behavior because I know he probably won't have a long life span to soak up all that good loving. That's all good and fine for me, but perhaps not the most guest friendly behavior. I tolerate a little more of Sophie's rowdy moments because they are such an improvement from time's she'd barely move out of fear. Sometimes you have to go from one extreme to the other and then settle in middle ground.

For Hank the middle ground is the better part of the sofa and the lap of anyone on it. I love that. But, I'll be more aware that not everyone does. Hank sometimes tries to get so close you'd swear he wants inside your skin. Sometimes he almost gets there. Thank goodness my friend likes dogs, even ones who are sofa hogs.