If Sophie could sit down (for more than 10 seconds), have a glass of wine (not like I'd share even if dogs could drink) and have a heart-to-heart talk it would go something like this.
Sophie: I don't like Scary Man. Why do we need Scary man? I wanna hide when I see Scary Man.
Me: Awwww, I wish you could tell me about the scary man from your past. I want to know what he did so we can help you feel safe here. Plus, I want to know who he is because I'd like a word (probably several, mostly emphatic words) with him. In fact, when I was done, his tail would be tucked and he'd be calling me Scary Woman.
Sophie: I don't like Scary Man. Why do I have to go outside with Scary Man? Make the Scary Man go away.
Me: Not all men are Scary. Our man is one of the good ones. You've met my son - he's not a scary man either.
Sophie: I don't like the Scary Man.
Me: Baby steps Sophie. All we ask is that you take baby steps. You will learn that some men have gentle hands and hearts of gold. Some men are good cuddlers, good walking partners, safe havens. Some men will carry old dog's upstairs when their hips hurt. Some men love dogs.
Sophie: I like you, you're not scary. At least not most of the time. Not like Scary Man.
Me: Scary Man wants to be your friend. Wants to love up on you and shower you with treats. It's okay to learn, just a little, to like him.
Sophie: I don't know.....maybe someday....maybe.... In the meantime, I'm not turning my back on him.
Sometimes we are all a Sophie. Sometimes we need to heal from the Scary Man. Sometimes, great people (men or women) enter our life if we let our guard down just a little bit. And, that's what we hope for our Sophie.
Life with dogs. A little humor, a dash of play, a seed of faith, and of course, some dog fur.
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