I Have To Wonder

I had someone ask me why I have so many friends across the country and yet don't know my own family. I have to ask why I have family that doesn't know me? It was mentioned that if I didn't like what my other state friends said I could just turn off the computer and walk away. So I have to wonder am I that shallow?

While I have less history with some of those friends, what history I have is not tainted by past experiences. They do not have years of tacit agreements like those that sometimes come with families that are less than functional. Face it, that includes almost all families.

I come from a family that does not communicate well with one another. It was not safe to say what you thought or express what you felt - at least this is how I felt growing up. So I own that I am working towards learning what works for me in relationships. What I am not willing to put up with in relationships, and which relationships nurture and support me.

It was suggested I make the first move towards knowing my family better. I'll have to ponder that one. It takes two to make it work, as well as faith. And it will take some healing on both sides. While I can work towards that myself, I can't do it for the rest of them.