Anticipation

For me, anticipation lasts a long time, sometimes forever. It involves hopes and dreams on multiple levels. Some long term, some shorter. Often there is a build up and a let down. A time to regroup and hope yet again. It involves faith and patience. Sometimes I struggle with both of those. I am a want it now person. Or at least I want it with a projected date of the outcome. Naturally with the outcome I prefer. Constant anticipation with no return is at best deflating and at worst outright discouraging.


I have to admire that the dogs don't live like this. Their anticipation is in the moment. It is immediate as in "oh goodie, Mommy has the bacon strips out", or "it's feeding time and she's going for the bowls!!!", or "its snowing or raining I'll snuggle into the sofa and they promptly forget the inclement weather. There is no level of angst involved in canine anticipation. I admit to being envious of this.

As much as I would like to stay in the moment I keep getting drawn out of it. Sucked into the vortex of "what if, when, how, why not, and how come". Coated with a heavy dose of "I want it now". Bottom line is "I" need to take a chill pill and just trust. I wonder if the dogs will share their chill pills with me. So that I too can live life in the present, in the comfort of acceptance. Then I would not be rushing down the highway of wonder and worry.

I doubt they ever think, dang I should have barked louder, or ran harder, or played more. They don't second guess and feel like a less than perfect dog. They are what they are. Half a cookie is always awesome, and they never compare their cookies to someone elses.

If I was more dog-like I'd be a much better human. Perhaps they are here to make me a better being. Less doing, less worrying, more being, and being okay with that.