Reminiscing

Jackson, Kobe, Buddy, Bo, Pete, Sidney - all fosters. Dusty, Abby, Kobe, Fancy, Mickey - all forever dogs.

So we didn't have them all at once. Probably a good thing. Only one was from my adolescence. The other ten took up residence in my heart within the last ten years. Only one was a puppy - and I believe one puppy was enough. Amazing, when I think of my capacity for loving dogs, that I went so many years without one, or two, or three. Obviously, I'm making up for lost time.

I've come a long way. Three seems pretty quiet. But then one is our little Tripod and the other is older than the hills. Only Mick is old enough to know better and young enough to still get into trouble.

I think a lot about Sidney's last day with us. For months, when he was in the shelter in Oklahoma, he lived in desolate filth. Leave it to me to bathe him the night he died. He smelled awful, I thought from being ill in his crate. Now I think it was just from being ill. Not realizing how sick he was we gave him a bath. He probably didn't appreciate it, but he died clean. I hope that is better than living dirty.

I also keep thinking about the last time I took him out in the yard. Sick as he was he gazed out into his yard and his tail wagged. Not much, but some. I have to believe he was seeing the angels coming to get him. He knew a good thing when he saw it.

Now, if nothing else Sidney was a butterfly boy. Leaping after them was his bliss. So I will be planting a butterfly bush near his grave. After we buried him I was wandering my garden, looking, but not really seeing. Thinking, but not comprehending. To my surprise I saw a colorful moth dance by. That warmed my heart for two reasons. First of all because Sidney loved them, and secondly, because it is definitely not moth/butterfly season here yet. Chance or a sign....you make the call. I know what I think.

In spite of everything, because of everything, before, during and after everything the dogs live on in our hearts. It's what makes me, and perhaps you, whole.